Image by taylor_hun via sxc.
Sex Becomes a Worry
Not that this will come as a surprise, but there are other places to have sex besides in your own bed at night. Still, even if you remember sex beyond the bed (hello early adulthood) you may have some major issues surrounding sex and co-sleeping. Face it, new parents are already exhausted and seeing your partner in bed at night may be the only time you even remember that sex is even a possibility. Except now you're looking at your partner over the head of that cute, innocent little bundle (that makes adorable coos and sighs), which isn't the best intimacy motivator ever.
You shouldn't blame co-sleeping though. Even non-co-sleeping new parents have sex issues due to stress, exhaustion and other stuff. Motivation is key. Try the following...
- Try having one or two baby-free nights a week. Co-sleeping benefits are still substantial, even if 15% of the time your baby sleeps in a crib or bassinet.
- I've heard stories of people who happily, um, partner up in the same bed or room with a baby, but for many of us, a baby nearby can seriously kill the mood. Not only can a baby interrupt you at the worst times, but having him nearby may make you so uncomfortable that you rush or have a downright horrid time. If you're in this camp, grab your partner and head to the couch, the kitchen floor or the shower - whatever floats your boat.
- Take a night off. I swear, leaving your baby with a sitter or grandma won't hurt your baby and it'll give you some free time to enjoy with your partner. You can spend a couple of hours at a hotel or even go parking like when you were a kid - fun!
- Schedule sex. This isn't very romantic, but sometimes scheduled sex is better than no sex at all and may lead to increased spontaneous feelings later.
- Most importantly realize that intimacy comes in many forms. With kids in the house, co-sleeping or not, your sex life will likely change. It's important to focus on what you can do, rather than what you're missing. Kissing, hugs, little love notes and time alone aren't the same as sex, but do take less time, while contributing to a healthy relationship.
